ChangingDad

Making the most of a new life

Bedtime hour

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After their bath the boys are allowed a ‘bedtime hour’, which is actually 10 – 20 minutes of watching a DVD or clips from Youtube. There is often a bit of opposition to switching the tv or computer off, but this soon disappears when the offer to race upstairs on our backs is made. The boys fairly quickly brush their teeth, but then the real bedtime hour begins. This is the hour that it often takes us to get Sam settled.

Jake is usually asleep within 15 minutes of the light going out but Sam tries everything to stay up longer, and we seem to have tried everything to get him to settle.
It all started when we moved house and Sam went into a ‘big boy’s bed’ rather than the cot he had previously slept in. He seemed to settle quite well at first, but then seemed to get more and more bold in coming downstairs with a big grin on his face.
We have become more and more frustrated by this, and we are losing more and more of what we see as valuable time together once the boys have gone to bed. We rarely go out as a couple at the moment, but we enjoy having a meal together, sitting chatting, or watching one of our favourite TV series (currently Homeland and Downton Abbey); and the two hours from 9.30pm to 11.30pm go by all too quickly (especially if I fall asleep while watching, though not usually while eating or talking)).
We have tried a number of strategies including:
  • We got the travel cot out and told Sam he would have to go in there if he did not settle. This worked until Sam got wise and called our bluff, saying he wanted to go in ‘the baby bed’. Of course, we did not really want him to go in there because, a) it was a backwards step; and b) if he woke up in the night he could not just toddle through but wake the whole house up.
  • I have tried sitting at the top of the stairs, showing him that I was there but not communicating with him. This works to a certain extent but I feel terrible because he just shouts and shouts, and although he finally does then realise that he is not going to get anywhere; it is usually sometime afterwards – still a bedtime hour; and it is not getting better.
We have looked at all sorts of different things but nothing seems to work. It is particularly frustrating because this is the first thing that we feel really stuck on. We have usually found a way through before, but not this time.
I realise that this is probably not a massive issue in the grand scheme of things, but at the moment it feels like one. It is a change that we feel we have not managed very well, and we really miss having more time just for ourselves; and we really feel that Sam needs a longer sleep than he is getting.
So it would be great to hear what others have done to reduce the bedtime hour.
What are your top tips for getting children settled?
Or are we lucky that it is only an hour?
Thank you.
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2 thoughts on “Bedtime hour

  1. Oh bedtime, how we despise you! We also struggle with getting our little angels settled so feel your pain. Our older two, ages 9 and nearly 7, read for a bit then turn lights off and go to sleep. The little ones, ages 5 and 2, require much more parental engagement. To the extent that I just sit in the room with them, holding hands, saying ssssh until the sandman arrives. Feel like we have given in by doing this – but like you both we are desperate for the peace of the evening! Good luck!

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