ChangingDad

Making the most of a new life


1 Comment

London eyes

London_Eye3

Ever since he was very small Jake has always liked crowds. His first word was ‘Hiya’ and he used to say it again and again as we went through a city centre, or popular tourist places such as York. Most people found very endearing, including our fellow passangers on a flight to Abu Dhabi (well for the first 15 minutes anyway).

We are lucky enough to make frequent trips to see family in Berlin. Jake loves this, and has had a real hankering to visit other big cities such as New York and London, and it was because of this I thought it would be a great idea to go to London for a couple of days. We have been there before, but he was really too young to appreciate it then, but, at nearly six, I thought he could.

IMG_0396-copy

But what to do there? I contemplated all sorts of trips to museums and plans to keep him entertained for two days, but in the end I asked him what he wanted to do (an idea so obvious I am amazed that I had not thought of it before). The answer was that he wanted to ride on as many different forms of transport as he could. Well, I thought, I can cope with that.

So that is what we did. We went on buses (old and new), trains (underground, overground, driverless and express), a taxi, and cable car. We had to give the river boat a miss because of the horrendous queues to get on at every stop, but Jake was fine with that. In the process we saw most of the sights that he wanted to see: Big Ben, the London Eye, and Buckingham Palace. The highlight for both of us was the new cable car that goes high over the river from North Greenwich giving you a completely new perspective on London.

London-Cable-Car-12

It was great to spend a few days with him and I enjoyed his enthusiasm for everything as well as his great thirst for knowledge which seemingly knows no bounds. He is at a stage now where he not only wants to know about something, but whether it is faster, higher, longer, or more powerful than anything else. A vicarious competitiveness for inanimate objects it seems.

Our trip was helped by the fact that, in my last job, I travelled to London on a regular basis, so we could find our way around relatively easily. What was really amazing, though, was how I got to see the familiar through Jake’s eyes and got to see London in a completely new light. For him it was like a big transport playground where he soaked up every little feature: wires in the middle of the track, cables on bridges, buttons on trains, and many many more. Yet another new perspective for me.

What I also realised was how much I had changed from the crazy London commuter always in a rush from one meeting to the next trying to save every vital second by catching that tube, even though there was another one in two minutes. Jake was not going to be rushed, and that suited me just fine: he thought the idea of people running up and down escalators was when they moved anyway was hilarious; and when you think about it…

So our two days in London was a very different experience for me, and in some ways quite a salutary one as well. They provided a benchmark for how different, and for me better, my life has become since I took redundancy; and they also provided a concentrated dose of seeing the world through a child’s eyes. I enjoyed the view!

Advertisements


2 Comments

In the beginning

One of the responses to my post on being on my own in soft play centres was from someone writing his first ‘Dad-blog’. It was a post that outlined how it was for him finding out that he was going to be a Dad for the first time. This got me thinking that part of me wishes that I had started to writing this blog at that moment, but also took my mind back to the time when I found out that Karen was pregnant with Jake. It also provided me with a further link to my last post in that it is my experience that Dads do not tend to talk about such things, including birth stories, as much as Mums do; and this perhaps skews the literature on such matters. In many ways this is quite understandable since the woman has a far more intimate experience of the pregnancy and birth.

So anyway so vivid were the the memories I was having that I thought it would be good to recount how it felt for me to find out I was a Dad for the first time not only because I would enjoy thinking about this again, but also to provide a Father’s perspective.

Karen and I were actually on our honeymoon when we found out. We had got married the previous year and decided to go on a round the world trip, ironically completely missing our first anniversary on a flight from San Francisco to Auckland since going over the dateline entailed missing out that very day. We were staying with friends in New Zealand and on a trip out on the first day Karen had disappeared into a chemist, as it turns out to pick up a pregnancy kit.

When we got back to our friends’ house I can picture the scene as if it was just yesterday. She went off to the bathroom and came back with a very nondescript look on her face before announcing that it was positive. Now if you had asked me beforehand how I would have reacted to this news I really could not have told you, and I certainly would not have expected the explosion of joy that came from inside me as I gave Karen a huge hug, something that I can see as clear a day when I close my eyes.

We were so excited that we ignored normal conventions of waiting and told the friends we were staying with straight away, and then had a glorious three and a half weeks in New Zealand and Hong Kong to get used to the idea, before getting back to our jobs; and Jake is always rather confused when I tell him that he has already been around the world.

I have many memories from my life and, as regular readers know, memories are something I think about quite a bit; but none are quite as explicit as that moment when I became a Dad-to-be. I would also like to say at that moment that everything changed but actually for me very little changed at that moment. Rather the changes were all ahead of me, something which I think (because I cannot say for sure) I viewed with a mixture of excitement and sheer trepidation.

It was a first step into the unknown. An unknown that I now know to be a joy, a huge responsibility, and a challenge.

-oOo-

Note: As I was writing this in my favourite cafe two women came and sat down on the table next to me, one of whom was pregnant. The other proceeded to unpack a large bag of baby clothes and they talked at length about motherhood, birth and pregnancy. I found it to be a very moving moment especially in the context of what I was writing. But I wondered whether two men would be having the same conversation about births and pregnancy that they were having. Of course I did not join in, particularly as I do not really have experience of such significant changes to my pelvic floor.